I’m angry…that’s all I can say. Most of you will either have no clue what I’m talking about or won’t care but I gotta vent. I’ve used LogMeIn Free for about 3 months now to remote log in to my desktop computer at home from my laptop and to do other remote work. I tried to do the same today and was told LogMeIn Free was no longer available. I wasn’t warned about this and now the service I came to rely on suddenly disappeared. This is outrageous!! How can a company just cancel a service without giving people time to find a suitable replacement?! Now they say if you would like to continue using LogMeIn, you have to pay $49.99! This is nuts! In the FAQs, it says that a notice was emailed out, but I never got any such notice. I just want to say, if anyone who used LogMeIn is thinking of paying their outrageous fee, please reconsider. There are several other programs out there that offer the same or better service, such as TeamViewer.
[ I know that there are very few people who will read this, but for those few... I know this is not my best writing, and I know I haven't written in a very long time. Thank you very much for staying with me.]
Christmas…for most people, a time of love, joy and good cheer. Christmas is said to be a season to be happy and spend time with the ones you love, rejoicing in the gifts of friends and family. But for some, Christmas has lost its meaning.
For me, Christmas used to be a time of joy no matter what troubles I had. No matter how bad things were, hearing a Christmas carol or seeing the lights never failed to put me in a cheerful mood. Then, things seemed to change; the carols became a bit less merry, the lights a bit dimmer, the hot coco a bit less sweet. I guess it may have happened slowly, so slow, in fact, that I didn’t even notice the change, but Christmas had lost its magic. The sights and sounds of Christmas ceased to make me smile. The joy usually heralded by the season, just didn’t seem to appear anymore. And like a small child on Christmas morning, saddened to the core when he wakes to find Santa did not visit his home, I realized, with great melancholy, as I watch the endless parade of yuletide movies on TV, that Christmas was not the joy-filled season it once was.
Maybe it was me who changed, maybe I lost my joy, my Christmas spirit, or maybe it was Christmas itself, in this modern era or materialism and unkindness, that no longer brought its once abundant cheer; maybe it is just a fact of growing up, or maybe I have grown cold, but there is no longer any happiness in this season.
Many will probably call me a Grinch, and maybe that is what I am becoming, but I feel that I can no longer speak of the joys of Christmas, for, to me, Christmas no longer carries any joy.
It is said that water is the strongest force. Water is indeed very powerful. It has the power to give life and to take it away. It has the power to shape the grandest of mountains and carve the deepest of valleys. But I disagree that water is the strongest force in this world, rather time is.
Water may take life if circumstance allows, but time takes all life regardless of the influence of others. Only through time can the forces of nature do their work, forming and shaping formidable peaks and valleys. In all these and many more displays of force, time is the enabling power, allowing all other forces of nature to shape our world.
Time, alone, can strengthen or weaken bonds of the heart and soul. Bonds of love, respect and caring can only grow and endure through the good disposition of time. If time so chooses, even the strongest of bonds can be broken. Even the most enduring connections well dissolve under the fierce ravages of time.
Time enables all other forces and shapes the world around us to its whims. No force of man or nature can stands against the ever-present strain of time.
Losing someone you care about can be one of the hardest things you can go through in life. No matter how or why someone dies, the loss leaves a hole in your heart that you feel can never be filled again. This being said, I believe that losing someone to suicide is one on the most painful experiences imaginable.
When someone commits suicide, it is most often a last resort when they feel that there is no hope for their life to get better or that they have no reason to live. As a friend or relative of a suicide victim, you often can’t help but feel that you are in some way to blame for the death. You believe that it’s your fault for not helping or not being supportive enough, even though this is usually not the case. In some cases, one persons suicide can trigger the suicides of friends or relatives who feel guilty about what happened.
Guilt, anger and other negative emotions that may result from a loss can lead to dangerous behaviors such as self-harm or violence. It is important in the wake of a suicide, or any loss, that friends/relatives talk about what happened and try to understand it. While this may be painful and difficult, it can be helpful to express and relieve feelings that can build and lead to harmful behaviors. Expressing feelings, especially of guilt, can be a vital step in coping with a loss. In children, where these feeling are more likely to occur, it may be best to seek professional help, such as a school counselor or physiatrist.
If you are depressed or having thoughts of suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
To me, music is much more then just sound, much more then notes and words. When I tell people this, they ask, “How is that possible?” And I understand them asking because technically, in the most scientific sense, music isn’t anything more then sound. But somewhere in the process of its creation, it becomes more then that. Maybe it’s one point in the process: it’s conception, someone putting their feelings into lyrical form; it’s recording, a musician pouring his soul into a performance; or the listening, someone hearing a song and being able to relate to it.
When you listen to music, something happens. It changes and affects your feeling and can inspire, motivate, and energize you. In this world of cynics and terrorism, I believe music is one of the few true miracles.
Long live music!!
Here’s a sad yet wonderful poem my girlfriend wrote. Hope y’all like.
had an open door
to get out
she did the terrible dead
of running away
instead of facing her problems
she thought she was right
when in fact
that broke her heart
then if she stayed.
Here’s a poem I wrote long ago when I was depressed. I hope some of you may like it.
One Shadow stands, tall and erect
Watching our race with level breath
Seeing, knowing as the age goes by
Waiting for the sun to rise
And alight his long darkened eyes
Once young and innocent and free of guilt
One Shadow stands alone
A wolf among dogs
With secrets known to none but one
Hardened by time
Now cold to the world
He sees the cracks in iron armor
He knows few other Shadows
None so dark as he
No one quite understands the pain
It took to get him here
He lost everything he ever had
The one he really cared about
The one who cared for him
He’d pushed away
To save from the dark
As time went on
The Shadow sand but deeper
No longer fearing
The call of the Reaper
He wishes he could start from scratch
Go back in time and try again
Undo the wrongs he’s done
All his mistakes undone
When times get tough
And he looks back
On fights he’s won and lost
If only life would even out
It’d all be worth the great cost
On thoughts of going
Back to the place from whence he came
He put all such notions to rest
For in returning, he would risk
The shattering of dreams
His one true hold on life
His hopes and dreams
Fleeting visions of a better life
A life un-afflicted by sorrow
Untainted by hatred
Un-darkened by Shadows
From sleep he wakes
Into a world of dreams
Where there is no escape
And he drowns in despair
As the realization sets in
There is no escape
There is no hope
He walks around
In his haze of despair
No one and nothing can pull him free
As he trudges through life
Oblivious to joy
As the days slowly passed
And he sunk lower and lower
Giving up on the chance of life
He’d lost his chance
Messed up his life
And now he pays the price
He still has dreams
Though they’re not always welcome
They pull him back into memories, hopes and wishes
Showing him what could be
What still might be
If only he dared return
And let someone in
He tries to move beyond his past
Proceed with life and make it last
Not forget what has come before
But honor it forever more
He’s not so dark now as before
But his demons live forever more
Always knocking on the door
Of consciousness with vicious lore
They taunt and tease
Looking for a fight or flight
In either they would delight
For victory, theirs would be
In the silent reverie
With constant fear
And frightful dreams
He wades through life
Filled with strife